How to Write a Life Story People Want to Read

I think most people balk at the idea of writing their life story because they don’t consider the positive impact it can have on readers. This is especially true of older generations. Responses range from the ever-popular excuse “Nobody would want to read about my life”, to the well-worn refrain “What do you want to know? We were poor!”

First things first . . .

Writing a life story isn’t just about listing factually accurate events in chronological order. While the who’s, where’s, and when’s are important, let the readers in on your how’s and why’s.

It’s not just what you experienced, it’s how you experienced it . . .

Writing your life story is more than skimming the surface. Approach it like you’re taking a deep dive.

Make sure you consider questions like “Where did I find the strength to carry on?”, “How do I look at life now?”, and “What have I learned?”

Beth Kephart, author of “Tell the Truth, Make It Matter, a memoir writing workbook” reveals that what memoir requires is . . .

“not the static reporting on a life, but the dynamic of evolved understandings”

People are constantly looking for guidance, and it’s not always the "experts" who have the answers. Readers want to hear about the struggles, the triumphs, and the transformations of everyday people.

Open your eyes to a bigger picture . . . .

Kephart reminds us:

“Really good true stories offer not just a series of life events but a deliberate suggestion of what it is to be a human being - to experience confusion, despair, hope, joy, and all that happens in between . . . The best true stories recognize that the writer is not the only person in the room.”

What Kephart suggests is to look beyond your circumstances and consider the bigger picture, the universal themes we can all relate to. If you strike a familiar chord in your readers, they can catch a glimpse of themselves in you. Whether you share your life story with family and friends, or with a wider audience, invite them all in, let them stay for a while. Just telling your story offers them guidance and inspiration.

Relatability is everything . . .

Relatability doesn’t mean having the exact same circumstances as someone else. Relatability means transcending the details and finding the universal human connection between the storyteller and the reader.

I don’t have to be an award-winning actress, the wife of a rock star, or on a life-long weight loss journey like Valerie Bertinelli. But I can certainly relate to universal themes like minimizing my accomplishments, losing someone I dearly loved, and looking for answers outside of myself to “fix” what’s going on inside. That’s why I could relate with her memoir, "Enough Alrealy."

In “Be Ready When Luck Happens”, Ina Garten proves that leaping before looking can actually work out just fine. It’s a refreshing perspective, especially for those of us who obsessively plot our way through life. Loosening up on the reins could be a good thing. I am inspired by her belief that a barrier is never a stop sign, it’s only a challenge to overcome. And I’m beginning to trust that taking a risk may be worth it.

Universal themes . . .

Several years ago, I was preparing for my first interview with a ninety-year-old life story client. Her son had given me a spiral-bound notebook containing some of his mother’s memories. It amounted to thirty pages of handwritten notes in no particular order. She had compiled it over many years, telling old stories and reminiscing about family and friends.

When her son handed me the notebook, he casually remarked “It’s kind of dry, but at least it’ll give you some background.”

Kind of dry, you say?  Maybe, if you just read the lines on the pages. If you read between the lines, however, that notebook was a treasure trove of insights. Universal themes immediately jumped off of those pages, like her connection to community, her belief in decency and morality, her devotion to life-long friendships, her commitment to the institutions of marriage and family, and an unwavering faith in God that had sustained her in challenging times. These are the kinds of themes you want to highlight in your own life story. These are the things that readers can grab onto.

Don’t presume . . .

So maybe you feel that your life isn’t perfect enough to put on display for everyone to see. Great! You’re in good company, then, because no one’s life is perfect. And anyway, people aren’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for honesty. How you handled what came your way shines far more brightly than any picture-perfect image.

“Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words could become a page in someone else’s survival guide.” ~ Morgan Harper Nichols

So by all means, tell your story. Please tell it. Show people how you navigated your way. You never know who you may inspire.

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